I don’t want to live my husband’s retirement!

Miscommunication station!!! Of all the deep seated lifestyle questions that are failed to be asked this one is number one with many couples. It is also the one that can severely wound an otherwise healthy relationship.

Many times the retiring executive just assumes certain things about their retirement and fails to even consider what their spouse is thinking. This is why a Retirement Coach can save the day and ask the right questions to draw out the issues that may not be apparent or are assumed.

To try and do Retirement Planning alone is like trying to teach yourself how to fly a plane. All the necessary information is on the internet but with this approach you only get one shot at it. Good luck!

As the spouse or the assumed second party you have just as much right to call some of the shots in this retirement as it is your life also. If your spouse just assumes by your silence or your tacit agreement that you are okay with his direction who do you have to blame? Him? Yes but you also.

Remember it’s a partnership not a dictatorship. When the King of the Hill decides that every Friday is dinner at Al’s pizza and you hate it. Just say it, let’s try a new place Al’s is getting stale. How about Ernesto’s or Angelo’s? Remember it doesn’t need to be a confrontation, its pizza, but your input in this new relationship is what really matters. Save confrontation for the things that really matter.

The next thing is your independence. When your spouse used to be at work you had plenty of it. Now your independence is at risk because you know who is home all the time. So how do you regain your footing? Suggest things for your spouse to do apart from you and also with you. You are not trying to abandon them you just want some space and some my time.

Take the initiative. You may find how receptive your other half is to that. Surprise them by planning a trip that you have always wanted to take. If they are thrilled with it find a close friend that does and have a good time. Believe me your other half will be supportive and relieved. The whole idea is to establish in this new relationship a balance between independence and togetherness.

Finally, don’t be afraid to try new things. If bird watching is something you’ve always wanted to do go for it. Just be respectful. Remember that time in your relationship is the new currency. What you spend your time by yourself and jointly will determine the ROI of your joint retirement relationship. Don’t delay the clock is ticking!!